Most parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common reason for parents punishing their children. This punishment is based off of the notion that you can train a child up, and force the child to obey Christian law. There are better ways to discipline a child than punishing or reprimanding them.
Proper child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο(Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for doing things wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.
The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία(Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in biblical times centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children then following in their parents' footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children showed good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys, when caught being good by fathers, were given manly praise, whereas girls, when caught being good by fathers, were given a kiss to the forehead. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. This religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for a child to discover and explore. When children were caught reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what children saw in the text of the Bible. Children were eager to learn about the facts of life, and fathers were quick to point out the context. Religious development is a part of child development. Young children, usually starting at age 6, have simplistic beliefs that are non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. But, as children get older, they start to conform, in most cases, to a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religious denomination or sect that you would choose, but at least they have values.
What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment to mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the child went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held, either in mom's arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following mom from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing mom "going away and never coming back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at the child before picking him/her up, then diagnosing the need based off of the type of cry. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Children, during the first 6 years, were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child themselves - then tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress of mothers that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin co-sleeping lasting until the child reached the onset of puberty, which was when they usually wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, and mothers went naked when in the confines of the family home.
Mothers nurture from up close, whereas fathers nurture from afar. Fathers nurture their children in a teaching way, praising and encouraging children when they are caught being good. Children then wanted to please their father, and so they showed good discipline all of the time, to the best of their ability. Fathers kept their distance due to a sexual attachment to his children, with daughters being the primary target of such an attachment. However, fathers were not allowed their "icing on the cake", and instead were to masturbat* righteously. Righteous masturbation is allowing yourself to masturbat* in order to purge unrequited lusts, and for fathers to stay out of trouble with their daughters especially. Righteous masturbation to sexual thoughts of your children helps built a secure attachment between father and child. The word "masturbat*" or any of its stem words are not found in the Bible, with the Early Christians masturbating frequently in order to purge unrequited lusts, including unrequited lusts towards their children. Fathers spent away their parent attractions using righteous masturbation, and then got along great with their children, from a distance. Fathers only stepped in on occasion, when children were caught being good.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
